How To Face The Marriage Relationship In The Middle Of This Chaos With Counseling?

Marriage Counseling and Your Emotions

It is clear that the situation is very complicated for everyone, that stress, anxiety, and other emotional disorders, such as depression, can appear, or become more evident. Regardless of all the problems and their nature, the most important thing is that we try to establish priorities, both materially and emotionally, and to join forces. The basic thing is that, even though the glass of external problems is full, we do not contribute to overflowing it.

Marriages Avoiding Conflict

Yes, it seems obvious, but it is not. It can help you think that this situation is temporary. Based on that, we must prioritize well-being over discussions and give in, whenever possible, before provoking a dispute that further aggravates the situation. We must understand that now, we have to be patient, unite impulses, collaborate, and work together so that, at least, our home and our partner are a space for tranquility.

Agree On An Equitable Division Of Tasks

Making it clear who is responsible for a certain obligation and the times to carry it out, and doing it fairly and fairly, will help you feel more comfortable and united and avoid possible sources of discussion in the long run.

Time And Healing of The Marriage

This moment can become an auspicious occasion to spend more time with our partner and communicate. Most of the time, our responsibilities prevent us from devoting all the attention we would like to our relationship: now we can express our concerns and rediscover ourselves and our partner, increasing trust and cooperation with our spouse.

Set aside an exclusive time to enjoy your partner, even if it is to watch a movie when the children have gone to bed, or to have a coffee and exchange impressions. Sharing a good time will release tensions and give you the strength to face each day.

Reserve Your Space

Dedicate special time to yourself, take care of yourself, relax, enjoy your solitude, whenever possible, and respect your partner's time and the need to establish spaces in which each one can dedicate themselves to their activities, or their own rest.

Be Understanding And Patient

These are difficult times when we all have ups and downs. It is important to have enough empathy to understand that our partner may have a bad day.

How To Solve Your Relationship Problems, According To Marriage Counselors

Although sometimes it may not seem like it, we are rational beings. And if sometimes it does not seem like it, it is because when anger invades us, our minds become clouded, and perhaps what comes out of our mouth is not the most appropriate to solve our relationship problems.

 

Rather than counterattacking stronger and stronger, perhaps it is smarter to rescue our partner from his stupidity and keep a cool head. Or, if such a thing is not possible, keep the following tips in mind the next time the issue is about to get out of hand.

 

Marriage Counselors Recommend:

Stop And Let The Other Person Explain

 

Nashville marriage counselors believes it is not just about counting to ten between outbursts, but also in letting the other person explain themselves and present their version of events in the face of your accusations. This may prevent a rise in tension to the point of no return and fix the problem without raising the tone or bringing up other issues.

 

An Argument Cannot Be Won, Only Lost

 

What is the end of all couple discussion? Exchanging outbursts until one of the two gives up and, convinced, apologizes to his partner and accepts that he is right and nothing but right? Or simply make him understand that one of his behaviors has annoyed us and that he should think twice before doing something similar again in succession.

 

Feelings Are Not Discussed

 

The judicial system can be fallible at times, but the history of the law has provided human beings with a series of rational and useful tools to solve conflicts. Therefore, it may not be such a bad idea to take some of his advice and apply it to our life as a couple, focusing on the facts rather than speculation. 

Personal Goals In The Marriage And Dominance Relationships

When the couple is formed, each member pursues some objectives, implicit or explicit, that they want to obtain in the relationship. They are not immutable objectives in time; throughout the couple’s life, their importance changes depending on the individual and social development or the phase in which they are, if they have small or older children, if they are retired, with pressures economic, etc.

 

Marriage Relationship Goals

The management of shared money can be an example of how the couple works as a social entity. The needs and objectives that each member wants to solve with the money are made explicit in the communication and mutual understanding. There has to be a method to set the priorities to which the amount available will be applied. The way to fix them is a reflection of the distribution of power in the couple. It is not about objectively reasonable or equitable priorities being set, but about being accepted and acceptable by both. As a social entity, a joint and coordinated decision is taken.

 

Money is not the only element in which power relations are reflected; in reality, they occur in every one of the goods that are shared. They do not always have to be the same; for example, while one member takes the lead in spending on social relationships, it may be the other. In the couple’s internal world, one of the members may have more capacity to get the other to agree to do what he wants. A power structure is established, defined as the ability to influence others to do what one wants. But the power depends on the management of the resources that one has.

 

The power structure in marriage in the couple is reflected in dominance relationships. Its importance in the couple and their conflicts has been widely recognized. That is, “when the behavior of a person, A is predictable from the behavior of a person B, B is said to be dominant over A.” This definition has as a problem that the behavior of submission predicts, in general, the cessation of the attack of the dominant individual. Therefore, applying the previous definition, the individual who submits would be dominant over the other. The definition of dominance that focuses only on behavior gives rise to ambiguities resolved if the result of the confrontation is taken into account as to who remains in possession of the resource in dispute.

 

“Physically, he wins a fight, displaces another child from his place, ends up having an object that they mutually desire, or that controls the other child’s behavior, usually through verbal commands.”

 

It seems clear that, although neither the presence of a dominance structure nor its absence is the determining cause of conflicts in the couple, having the decision-making resolved in a satisfactory way for both contributes to their stability. Problems arise when the decisions that are made lead to a negative outcome for the other person. Negativity is measured from a subjective point of view and consists, most of the time, in a discrepancy between expectations and results. 

 

The solution to the problems presented to the couple has to start with the fact that the two are capable of communicating. They also need to have the ability to generate alternatives and value them for the achievement of the proposed end. This requires problem-solving skills. If they are lacking, training is necessary, which has been successfully addressed by classical cognitive behavioral therapy.